


if you asked him.

by starsandskies



Series: less than a thousand words [destiel] [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Constipation, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsandskies/pseuds/starsandskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean lies. Castiel doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you asked him.

**Author's Note:**

> unedited, unbeta'd, inspired by tumblr.

If you asked him if he cared, he’d say no.

If you asked him if he missed him, he’d say no.

If you asked him if he loved him, he’d say no.

If you asked him if he was lying, he’d say yes.

-

Dean Winchester lied.

He lied about being fine, he lied when he said “nothing bad is going to happen to you, Sammy,” and he lied about feeling. Denial was so quick to fall out of his mouth, like a mantra over and over again. There wasn’t any point in asking him, he'd shake his head every time. Well, that or just walk away and give you that Winchester death glare the boys were so famous for. See, he wanted to tell the truth and he wanted to tell the right people but there was this incessant nagging in his head, the one that said _don’t tell him don’t tell him don’t tell him_.

So he didn’t.

Why would someone like Castiel want someone like Dean Winchester? He used to be a celestial being, for god’s sakes, he could have anybody. Loving Dean, not that it would ever happen, would be an absolute downgrade and he couldn’t do that to him. He loved Castiel too much to let him just settle.

*

If you asked him if he’d save him again, he’d say yes.

If you asked him if he’d fall for him again, he’d say yes.

If you asked him if he dreamt about him, he’d say yes.

If you asked him if he was lying, he’d say no.

-

Castiel wasn’t a liar. It just wasn’t in his nature and although he was human, he never quite got the hang of it. He didn’t want to feel the way he did but something inside him burned as the nights drew in and another day away from Dean was over. He smiled when necessary and did the odd jobs here and there but it wasn’t enough. It could never be enough. Not without him. Never without him. See, it was easy when they were living together. Castiel could touch him (fleetingly but it was still _something_ ) and it wouldn’t matter because it was something they did, but now he was in pieces. He yearned to drag his fingertips down the back of Dean’s spine and make him his but he wasn’t wanted anymore.

Wasn’t needed anymore.

Why would Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man, want a fallen angel? He didn’t know how to do the simplest of things and he certainly didn’t understand all those damn movie references that he made so what would be the point of them? No, it was safer like this – hidden away – because then, nobody would get hurt.

-

If you asked them if they needed each other, they’d say yes.

If you asked them if they belonged to each other, they’d say yes.

If you asked them if they loved each other, they’d say yes.

And this time, they weren’t lying.

 

 


End file.
